Yes yes I know. This is dA. We're here to see hopefully pretty and masterful works of art. Not bitch and complain. But uh... I'm going to anyway.

I know you've all seen this before. Probably in places like the LJ community weepingcock. Still. I feel the need to fuss.

Like many, I frequent the Adult Fanfiction website. I do so because I'm older and I need more substance to my stories than fanfiction . net can provide. Plus, I like a lil smut sometimes. XD

Now here's what bothers me. AFF is clearly an adult website. You even have to agree you're over 18 to read the content, but upon getting to said content it's clear a majority of the stories are written by girls under the age of 18! It's painfully obvious! Especially in the Final Fantasy, InuYasha, and Naruto sections. Don't judge me. I like those sections! D:

Anyway, said girls have obviously only read, and fapped to, yaoi manga. Anal sex, while fun, isn't as easy as vaginal sex. There -has- to be lube, and no ... water or spit don't count, and there should be preparation. That's a really tight ring of muscles guys. It needs to be properly stretched and lubed unless you want the other to tear. Btw. You don't.

Honestly. These girls need to at least glance at a gay porno. This is the internet. Porn, especially gay porn, is everywhere! Have you ever seen one of those guys just shove their junk in another guy's butt? NO. They gotta work it in. Heh. It's not, omg balls deep in the first thrust. That would really hurt. Seriously. It would. :'x

Okay. It would even be possible to ignore that, but now there's another problem. Anatomy. Granted, I've fudged male anatomy myself. Especially when shoving extra organs in the guy. No seriously another organ like a uterus thus making a hermie. Anyway. The thing that gets me is... the location of the prostate. It is not 'oh so deep inside' dammit!! If it was, when a guy got a prostate exam the doctor would have to use a speculum to check it out. But the doctor doesn't. He uses one lubed finger and finds it about two inches inside the rectum.

Funny enough. I can ignore that at times too. Sometimes I reword the story in my head as I read so that it makes more sense. The worse thing I see in these fanfictions is the absolutely horrid spelling. It's like damn! Have none of you heard of spell check? Hell! Firefox has a built in spell checker! When it underlines something in red ... hmm ... better double check that word. Oh oh! And right clicking will give you suggested spellings. Obviously if it's a foreign word just ignore it or add it to the dictionary.

I swear to god if I read, again, that a guy 'trusted' into another guy I'm gonna scream. It's THRUST you ignorant little bastards. THRUST. You don't 'trash' you THRASH. And even then. That's not a sexy word. If you say someone thrashed their head from side to side I'm gonna imagine that person in a whole fuck ton of pain.

I'm not even going to get into MPreg.

...

Yes I am.

Okay guys. I get it. It's fun to get the guy's pregnant. HAHA! Let them feel the pains a woman feels when carrying. It's all fun and games until the guy goes into labor. I can't even begin to explain how much 'butt babies' bother me. I guess that's better than penis babies... Anyway! Either the male is a hermaphrodite and has a birth canal or he has a c-section.

I know others won't agree with that. But this is my rant dammit! And my views so nyeh!

Man. This could just keep going on and on. But I won't let it. I have one more thing to say. It is NOT okay to bleed during anal sex. There is no hymen being torn therefore there should not be any blood. IF there is.. then you are doing something wrong. That is not the body's way of lubing your impossibly large erection.

No wait! One more thing. Uke and Seme. Fun words. But PLEASE STOP referring to people in fiction as the seme and the uke. It's called the top and the bottom. The dominant and the submissive. Using Seme and Uke just make it obvious you're a little yaoi fantard and that makes me want to slap you and your mama. DX

I keep thinking there's something else but I can't remember. So I'll end this for now. Just remember, these are my thoughts and opinions. You don't have to agree. I'm not asking you to. I'm only asking you respect them.